Ok whos kinding everyone who probably read my LJ no longer gives two shits about this site.  However, seeings as I am so far away from everyone I am finding that I have some spare time to put my complaints, blatherings, and opinions to web paper.  So stay tuned I hope to continue what I started and maybe add some new features...like pictures!!!!

5 years and it seems that America has so easily forgotten what happened on that fateful September 11th.  Never forget those how gave their all and paid the ultimate price.  Never forget what happened, why it happened, and what it has done to our country as a result.   9/11 never forget.

...If you ever have the bright idea of hanging Ikea shelving on a wall in the hopes of storing movies/books/cd's/ or any other misc.  plan out ahead of time how you will hang them and the long term effects on the wall you hang them on.  Because I assure you, three years later when you pull them off the wall in an attempt to make your room look bigger you will find that the wall looks like hell.  Also, you will need to spend two hours spakling and another three hours priming and painting the wall.



..Just a side note though..

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 85% Hulk 65% Batman 60% Spider-Man 55% Iron Man 55% Robin 45% Catwoman 45% Superman 45% Supergirl 38% The Flash 35% Wonder Woman 28%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Wow...I just found eight bucks in my pocket...I can't believe I was this happy to find such a small amount of money...I literally have diet teas for the week because of it.  At this moment I'm preparing for a very busy week and a half at work, the next four days I'll be working a little over 60 hours... :) :) :)  So I guess this investment called work might actually pay-off after all.  Anyways, I hope to be completely burnt out after this week and then I head up to MU. :) And get to spend a month with my love.

So I haven't posted in awhile...what else is new.  Not like many people read my posts.  Anyways, alot has happened ove rthe course of the past few days.  However, the most notable is my re-introduction to the ocean.  The shore was awesome, I enjoyed every minute of it and even felt like a little kid again (I got to fall asleep in a bunk bed with shark sheets!), anyways after meeting Mer's dad and step-mom we went various places, places that included the beach, stone harbor, a little mexican place, and oh yeah the beach.  To end it all I got to drive home (which was a hell of alot better then the drive out) with my love by my side and me and her heading into the sunset.  After a "interesting" drive home, we went to wegman's and then I drove Mer home, althought it pained me to leave her I was glad to get the drive home out of the way then instead of the next day.  And to reward me for making that sacrafice I got to follow a half full very red moon all the way home...the perfect end to a near perfect weekend (a car show would'a been nice).  Now to get back to work and reality, and hopefully keep my sanity during all of it.  Good night..

It pains me to know that we haven't seen each other in so long.

It pains me to know that you are sick and all alone.

It pains me to know that you have nothing to do and no one to talk to.


It pains me most of all that I can't be there right now to hold you in my arms and just whisper in your ear that I love you and that you will feel better soon.
It pains me to know that I haven't seen your smile or seen you for so long.
It pains me to know that although it feels like a long time, that its only been about a week.
It pains me to know that I miss you so much and that I wish nothing more then to be with you at this moment.

I love you so much and wish that I could be holding you in my arms now and forever, I only wish that it didn't hurt so much to not see, but its only a reminder of how much you mean to me and how much I love you.


I love you and will see you on Thursday, have fun at work and please cheer up, cause your gonna feel better and your gonna be holding my hand on a moonlit beach soon enough.

<3

I wish I had more money, then I wouldn't be such a bitch.  I hate having to pay out more then you make.  You can pull money out of your ass for only so long before it starts to look brown and shitty.

I want school to start again, I'm sick of my shitty room, my shitty car, my shitty job, and this shitty town.  I can't escape any of it, I have little money and too much going on in my head, I want to be back in school were things are easier and simpler for me.

I got fuckin douche bagged tonight, aside from a kick ass movie I feel like I have/was treated like shit.  I was ditched before going to the movie by my "friends" and when I said I was pretty incapable of getting to the theater, being the great group of people they are they told me in a round about way to deal with it and it wasn't their problem.  So I bust my ass to get to KOP for the movie and end up sitting outside for two hours because for some unknown reason we just had to be at the theater at 9:30....wtf.  Fine whatever...see the movie, it's good,.  I relunctantly agree to go to Drew's to hang out with everyone (Drew kinda hitched a ride off of me, I figure were all goin to his place why not.)  I literally pull up in front of Drew's house and they call to inform us that they're all going home for the night....I'm going to bed.

Fuck you all....seriously.

Get used to random little posts over the next month cause I'll be home and working, which means I'll be angry, mad, depressed, pissed, or bored.   Right now.... I've finally cleaned my room and the end result is that my bed has turned into a Mexican bed.

I'm finally home...well home for two days and then off again on a "relaxing vacation" of camping.  Lately I've learned that being home is often more relaxing then vacationing.  By June 1st. I will have been to three different states, traveled in excess of 1,000 miles and seen a large part of my friends and family.  Shit...all in 18 days, fuck this, I wanna work.  Hopefully I'll get to stay at home, sleep in my own bed, and do nothing for a day or so before starting my summer vacation routine of work by and play by night.

So I'm finally home and lying in my bed, oh how I missed it. SO all my shit is moved in, now I have mountains of shit to go through. It's amazing how much stuff one can acquire over such a short amount of time. I have the most random assortment of items but that'll be later on in the weekend...

...The remote controller is lost, I can't find it, not just the tv remote but the satellite remote, so no T.V. for me.

My solution: a recently borrowed Mr.Scruff cd, and a wonderful pair of headphones with a very long chord. Diet tea, on the floor next to me I think I'll get some sleep and be ready for a rainy mother's day...













...Good Night You

Fuck this week...err Month.

I swear this is the week from hell, and I know it is because it started on Saturday night and hasn't stopped. My week from hell isn't that bad but its more or less the people around me that are having trouble with this week. From crunched time schedule, to speeding tickets, to too many tests, or a very temperamental MAX, everyone seems pissed or unhappy this week. And the more I think about it this entire month has been pretty shitty, I can't pin point specific points in the month that sucked but it did. The only exception being my birthday. So the semester is almost over (thank god!) and I'll be returning to my home town and my job (fuck yeah!). I have been unusually homesick lately and I don't know why, I think I'm just tired of classes and want to get back to work again. With work I don't have to worry about failure or tests or projects. I'm sick of my classes because they are so fucking boring or impossible.

I made my schedule for next semester, it kinda sucks but my choices were limited seeings as we went last in picking. Although I'm not complaining too much because unlike my roommate I have a full schedule. I'm taking another bio. class, and another math (fuck math), but most importantly I'm taking some G1 and G3 classes which I desperately need.

I got into an involved discussion at 1 in the morning with Mer about my dad and it made me realize how bothered I still am about the whole subject. Although it is a sensitive subject and I highly doubt I'll ever be completely content with what happened between him and my mom and how fucked up me and my families life was as a result of his actions. I think it bothers me more then it should because I have no clue as to why he did what he did or why he stopped talking with me. I know that I didn't help the situation of getting answers, but I feel that my actions are justified because of his actions. I did nothing to strain our relationship but at the same time I didn't exactly cry as much as I maybe should have when he cut off his lines of communication.

Anyways I have a headache and a sore throat and very little money to speak of. I need to get home and back to work...fuck this educational bullshit.

It's my Birthday.    :)

Wasn't today glorious out?

So last night was fucked up...everyone in 2B and 2A knows that.

But before that happened I was already dealing with some fucked up shit. I think right now I have run out of things to worry about or complain about. My life right now is pretty content, aside from the general headaches of school and money everything is starting to settle down and pan out for me. Thats all well and good but last night I was forced to tackle with some hidden issues. I will list them.

1. My continued hatred for myself and my existence.

2. My continued questioning of why I am here at Millersville.

3. What do I really want to gain out of my life.

4. (This one bothered me the most) Do I really want to be a teacher.


One and two are daily problems that I push out of my head and not think about because I'm fucked up in the head and it's pointless to dwell over number two and it's pointless to try and fix what 19 years of my existence has done to me.

Three is an unrealistic question, because daily my answer to that question changes, I've accepted that I don't know what I want in life or that I will ever know what I want in life.

Four....four bothered me, I haven't really thought about it until earlier this week because I have to plan out my Sophomore year for it. I question it because I see how I deal with my own peers and make note of my lack of patience with stupid people or people asking dumb questions. I don't know if I want to devote my professional career to a bunch of whiny little snot nosed kids that don't give a damn for what I think is something amazing. However, I am drawn to a new major. A major I know little about and have to gain information about this Wednesday. I hope that I am right in figuring out my major, because I'm sick of this guessing game I've been playing inside my head.

I want an answer...I want direction...I want something to look to...I want a definite, positive future.